choose people who choose you

It sounds simple, straightforward, almost obvious. But I think that for a lot of us, if we really took a hard look at the people we choose to spend our time with, we might be surprised.

Have you ever heard the saying that you’re a combination of the five people in your life that you spend the most time with? It really isn’t that hard to see that. Within a few weeks of arriving at college, my friends and I had already started borrowing each other’s phrases, words, and habits. It was inevitable. We were all still individuals but there was no doubt that we had already had a significant impact on each other, even just weeks after meeting.

So, if who we choose to spend our time with has such an obvious effect on us, shouldn’t we be choosing to invest in people who are also choosing to invest in us?

People who allow us to let our guards down. People who allow us to be the most authentic versions of ourselves. People who make us happy.

Finding these people certainly isn’t easy. And I speak from experience. I am no stranger to chasing relationships.

It feels good to feel wanted and important. But those feelings, that security, that feeling of belonging, does not come from chasing someone who does not want to be chased.

None of this is to say that you should drop anyone and everyone who doesn’t support you from the get-go, or who challenges you. What I mean to say, is to focus your energy into the people and places that make you happiest. Be nice to everyone, but only really truly invest in those who are willingly to do the same for you.

Choose the people who choose you. You deserve it

OpinionElle O'BrienComment